Trying to live your old happy lifestyle with a heartache

I ache daily. I function, but the absence of Ryleigh is with me daily. Mostly late at night is when I miss her the most because that's when she'd be my sweet wiggles. I'd give anything to feel that beautiful angel touch me again. Work has been well, I won't lie the first day was difficult because some of my precious babies that I taught wanted to know how my baby was doing (they really were so excited for me) and I'm usually at a loss for words. I mean how do you tell a child your baby didn't make it? I usually just explain God wanted me to just make an angel to watch over us. I did run to my classroom at nap and luckily with them all asleep I could have my quiet cry and rock and roll. The next day was much better and I was just me. I brought sweet girl a flower arrangement and a July birthstone thing to the cemetery yesterday evening. I like being there I can just talk to her. I still just wish I could change things. My dreams and heart are crushed.