Monday, August 9, 2010

I'm Memaw Gordon starts at 9 today. I woke up at 6ish though to prepare my body for that transition next week. I wish I was getting up for the beach!! LOL ;) I definetly need color. The older I get, I find that my teeny bopper priorities slip away. I would have never been this pasty in August years ago, but I prefer to hermit out of the heat now rather than bake in it. However, I still jam out to VH1,MTV, and CMT every morning just like high school and college. I'm excited about work though, I really love everyone I work with. I'm ready to meet the kiddies now.

I am determined to try to find a house to live in or at least something else. These college kids moving into the apartment complex make me feel old and stressed. They are rolling up with their brand new camaros and hummers and lining their beer bottles in front of their doors. Makes me feel like I live in a trashy place, and I don't. I just live on campus pratically. The other day "Hummer BOY" felt the need to take two parking spots with his "Daddy bought ride". So I rolled my window down and said, "Hey sweetie is that your ride?" He smiled that (Yeah i'm the coolest guy in the world smile) and said "yeah". I said "Really, learn how to drive it then, it doesnt take two parking spots buddy!!" See I felt so mean after that, I almost appologized, but Megan kept me from it. It's never bothered me much in the past, but again I think age is playing a factor. I used to be the creeper neighbor that loved dressing up and sitting on the porch watching the August move in's because I was convinced there was going to be "hot" neighbors. Now I don't want anyone looking at me and get annoyed by the move-in's because i'm usually perched in my dorky pj's on my lsu chair talking on the phone or something. The "Thursday" parties annoy me too. (See this is me sounding memawish). But really do they have to jam their techno boom boom music at midnight? I can't say that I was ever perfect (Praise God for bringing me to my senses), but I was always respectful of sound levels....and I promise you...there was never beer bottles lining my house. That's not decorations people...not little "ornaments" for your balcony.

Ok now that I sound like I belong on "Grumpy old women" I'm headed to go grab breakfast and head to work. I hope everyone has a good day. Love ya'll!!!!


Thursday, August 5, 2010

Summer 2010

I have honestly had one of the best summers of my life. When people ask me "What'd you do?" I have no real "Adventures" to list besides the beach. But you know what?? I am learning lifes adventures are far from what I thought they were in my previous years. Adventures do not have to be far off destinations filled with a little danger. I have learned that every day of my life is an adventure filled with twists, turns, laughter, and tears. The adventure is not knowing what the next day will hold, but trusting God to know that no matter what I will be just fine in the end. The adventure is my life that he's created for me. The new people I meet, the joy, the sadness, the anger, the nervousness, the lonliness, laughter,'s all apart of my adventure of finding me. I guess I don't feel like I'm so much "Searching" for anything anymore, but enjoying the litle moments that will eventually create my story of life.

I have spent soo much time with my family the last few months (which does include Megan also). I am so blessed with a job that allows me that time to spend with them. I noticed I didn't take as many pictures as I usually do this year, but I spent more time living in the moment. This is one I think I'll cherish for years though. Our vacation was a memory of a lifetime, and I really enjoyed our time together. Mostly we do dinners and movie nights. Gracie and I are the best of buddies now. She loves her "Aunt Teen". I wish I could bundle up how cute she is when she "Fakes a fall" just so I say "OHHH MY ARE YOU OK??" Which she proudly giggles and says "I OK!!" . She's so dramatic with the falls....she sticks her hands straight out and wobbles a little squealing like she's scared.. falls..looks up...smiles... and if I don't say "Are you OK?" quickly enough she is like "TEEEEEN" to remind me to say it... haha Mom said she's taken it to a new level and when she says, "Are you Ok?" Gracie will say, "No, then giggle and say I OK!!!" I don't know if it'll be nearly as cute to write about as it is to see... but it's so neat to see her little personality coming out. She also fakes sneezing now, and we wind up saying "Bless you" 19 times. When we really do sneeze though she will hug us and say "Bwess you". It's honestly amazing. Hahaha and she's so good at obeying. One night I saw her chewing and I was like "AHH What is she chewing?!?!" And I said, "Gracie spit it in my hand really quickly!!" Bless her little heart she spit up a half chewed up piece of apple that her momma gave her (which I didn't know)..and what really broke my heart is when she dropped her head and said "Apple". Needless to say I was please she minded and got her more apple..but felt terrible for upsetting her! haha! I am such a proud aunt to see her grow, but my goodness I wish I could bottle her up as a baby for longer. Imagine, next summer, she'll be speaking big long sentences to me! WOW! I can honestly say I want children one day. I'm ready to settle down. I do not want to "rush into anything" but do feel like in my heart I'm ready for committment so I can start that adventure of my life. Most people my age aren't ready for that, but I am an old soul I guess. If that scares anyone away from me, that just means that is not who God intended me to be with.

It was also SUPER FUN being in Ana and Christopher's wedding. Ana's been in my life since 7th grade, and I was super happy when she met him in college. It's neat to see a relationship grow from the beginning to what will be forever. We had a blast dancing the night away. Seriously. I love them to pieces. When the wedding photos get posted to Make Moments I'll post some. Until then here's a peak into the fun. :

I also enjoyed Baton Rouge as a 2nd timer this year for work. It's nice getting to bond with the people I spend 9 months out of the year with. I even gave a presentation with a few of my collegues and gained the respect of well seasoned teachers. (ha some even asked for my email?!) That made me feel amazing seeing as I'm just a teacher's assistant that's in school. It gives me steam to continue to push through school and pursue my dreams.

I had a really good time hanging out with a new friend the other day. It's so nice to meet some people with morals and a personality. The world lacks this too often these days. I guess meeting new people is a good start to a new season. New person to add to new adventures...

I hate endings though. I know it's just a season, but I know how busy my life gets with work (which I wouldn't change). It's just change of any kind brings me a sense of sadness because I always view it as a season of my life that i'll never get back....and what a great season this has been. It's just been so nice to have space and time to be with my thoughts/feelings/family/friends. I'm trying to make an effort to balance work and my social life this year. I can do both. Last year I know I turned into a hermit crab sometimes because I thought that was the responsible thing to do. I hope that little pattern doesn't happen, I want to be responsible, but I want to remain feeling this close to the people I care so much about. I do love me some fall though. :)

Maybe endings are good, new beginnings are always fun. Cheers to new adventures and new memories to be made.

Anyways, I am going to get some sleep.

<3 Love you all forever. :)

I promise you this, I'll always look out for you.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Happy Birthday Meglet. (:

There are those people that come and go in your life leaving imprints in your life, then there are those people who come into your life and become your family. That's what Megan Brooke Bowman has grown to be in my life.

If you took our personalities (especially back in the day) we were nothing alike. If I was day, she was night. If I was night, she'd be day. She hates country, while I am a rooting tooting boot skootin boogy country loving turn the Jason Aldean song up girl. And she's the let's jam to 91.1 dares to be different and try new styles whether it be hair color, new makeup, clothes. And as much as I give her a "hard time" about our differences over the years I'd never change her. Because she's the reason I like a variety of music, and when I do anything daring (like cutting my plain jane hair a new way) she's the encouraging spirit behind me.

Megan used to be viewed as the enemy.. hahaha because she had a friendship page dedicated to her on Amanda Buchart's tripod website. (I had one too but her page was before mine! haha so I was threatend that she was "cooler" than me) and I found problems with this as a jr. high tot. But then on the most of unusual circumstances I met her. My 16 year old "LOVE of my life" was cheating on me in the movie theater.. and Amanda and Megan sawwww them. So I got the phone call to come investiage the situation (ohh how being young was interesting). Sooo Megan, who was all up in the koolaid drama, decided to buy a movie ticket to help me 007 the ole cheater. Soo We busted up in American Pie and BOOM he was there kissing some girl. (In her defense he told her she was single, but at the time we didn't know this). So I run out crying, and Megan and I "staked out" the hallway. His "date" for the evening came running out talking trash... and Megan being my friend of uhh say 5 minutes says something about the girls "homemade shorts" (pahahaha good one Meg way to be creative!!) Then they left. haha My heart was broken, but I had made a new friend.

We kinda lost touch for a while. Randomly "aiming" each other chit chatting about how we'd grow up to drive a voltswagon bug (neither of us got that btw). But yeahh..

Until one day she came up to me in the hallwayh complimenting my Sharron Osborne wig (for Halloween at School WHAT WAS I THINKING????) haha she had the matching one one. Thennn she asked me if I'd go on a blind date with her brother. I told her I didn't do blind dates. Nooo Way!! Then she showed me a picture of Jon Eric in dress blues. He was so Handsome!! So I didn't hesitate to tell her to have him call me!! So we began talking to each other nightly. I'd update her on the "status" of mine and her brothers relationship. I was invited to ride with her and her family to pick him up from Jackson, Mississippi. Her family was so much fun. We listended to some hilarious music and jammed the whole way. By this point Megan and I had become close.

We got to the airport to pick up Jon Eric. Every guy who walked by Megan would say "That's my brother!!!" Until I saw him walk up. And I will say I had so many butterflies in my stomach. I was so happy to get my first big hug and I think we held hands going out of the airport. I wish I could remember. But I remember the drive home Megan and I yapped. He even told me on the phone that night that I talked to Meg more than him. LOL It was this point that I knew Megan and I would be close friends. I was just happy she didn't bust her brother kissing me goodnight at the door. Wait no that's right, she did. She was all hiding behind walls trying to snap pictures!! pahaha I called her paparatzi:

Jon Eric was very charming and I am thankful to God that I got to be apart of his life. He was a lot of fun and I was on top of the world dating him. But I was a senior and he was living in South Carolina preparing for war. In the end, we wound up being friends, and he went on to marry his high school sweet heart. But we remained friends...even getting pineapple pizza as a group when he'd be in town. And I was happy that he was happy.

Megan though--she remained close. And we grew up together in a sense. There are so many emotional rollercoasters in high school, and she was always there for every heart break, every big moment, every small nitty detail of the day. We practically lived together on the weekends (as we still do most of the time today lol). She was there to talk to me after I lost my Grandma and kept me company with silence when I needed it. She was there in college when I had hard days, and she was there to meet all the new guys with! (haha). She decorated my room with my sister when I moved out the first time. And She made up the goofball dances with me. She was apart of all major milestones- And I was there at 2 a.m. the day she got the visit...the news that Jon Eric lost his life at war.

I cry now thinking of the moment. I can tell you exactly where I was sitting in my house, studying notecards for psychology. I drove over quickly.... I was so hurt and sad because Jon Eric was a big part of my life, but i remember hurting the most when I saw my best friend break down. It hurt me to watch her suffer and for once there was no inside joke to make us laugh. That's the day we grew up--friendship wasn't just the fun times...we took our frienship to a whole new level of being there through literatly thick and thin. That's when I knew for sure she was family. Because I hurt for her loss like a sister, and I mourned with her. And looking back, I realize now Jon Eric is such a Blessing to our lives. I will ALWAYS be thankful to him and I will always be happy we dated even for a short period. He is the reason I have my best friend Megan in my life. God used him as a tool to place an amazing person in my life.

I have the joy of saying how much I have watched Megan grow and mature over the years. We both had our little wild child moments, and thankfully found the road back to God's path and had plenty of meterior shower nights gazing at the sky talking about faith and life. Everyone needs a friend that they can openly discuss their faith with. A friendship founded with a belief in God is always a sound and solid one. My family loves her and she's just like one of us. She's always there when we need her, and she's a joy to be around. My niece even loves chasing her around the house yelling "MEEEG MEEEG". I can't begin to explain the memories we've made, but I can explain that she's had a positive impact in my life. People always wait to celebrate someone's life after death, but I am choosing to tell the people who are important in my life how important they are while I can. You're such a strong person, who is smart, and talented. I want the best things in the world for you buddy!

Thanks for the Memories!! (Pics are in no chronological order)

I hope you have a Happy Birthday Meglet. :) I will always be here for you, and I thank God you're a Gorman! Love ya like a sister from another mister!!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Early Summer Days

It's midnight thirty in my world and I have slow acoustic music in the background...and silence.. pure silence...and I am completely at peace. I feel like im a sixteen year old little girl in my bedroom again. I am loving the summer off. I've discovered I stay busy with family and friends though. I guess I'm not good at just sitting around anymore like I did as a hermit crab teenager. I am enjoying this "me" time right now though. It's good for my soul.

I'm getting excited. We're slowly but surely working on fixing up my parents guest house into an apartment for me. It'll be a slow process due to money--little at a time--but in the end I'll save so much money. Big move wont be til next spring though. I am excited..because I'll have independence, yet still kinda be at home. Seems sensible...I would like to save money for my future, and in this apartment that's just not possible. I also know that my car is getting rather old (yet i am appreciative dont get me wrong)...but the move would help me finance something newer. The best part is I get to design it..because the inside is not finished yet. The concrete is laid and the building is up, but the frame needs insulation and walls...and floors..and everything. I want to do wooden floors--and have a loft. I also want it to be a very open space because of limited space. 18x20...(we may build on a little) I have so many nifty ideas in my head for designs. I get to pick out everythinng..doors..stove..tile.. etc. It's like desinging a mini house. I'm chipping in all of it (obviously since my parents are letting me stay rent free). But to them they don't see it as money. (and little do they know it I will be giving them money for them allowing me to do this even if my mom fights and says no) They see it as their little girl being closer... haha even if I'm a "backyardigan". This next year should be wonderful. I will be wrapping up college...getting extra $...maybe a newer car... but until then I am happy. I just like setting dreams for myself.

I am not a biggg paramore fan, but I love their new song, "The Only Exception". It's really pretty. Relaxes me. "Darling you are the only exception"... sorry found myself lost in a song. . . . I kinda miss my work friends. I love all the time with my other friends...but I really got used to hanging out with my group at work. Is that crazy? I think I'm supposed to be like woo hoo it's summer and not think of work..but I do. I wonder how my coworkers are doing and how their summers are...and I miss hearing about their lives everyday. I really do feel like I have a family at work. I'd never choose any other school or job to be honest..because it doesn't feel like a job. It feels like a friendship and a job with purpose. I am allowed every year to be apart of so many children's lives... I get to be the reason a child smiles. That's special..and I am glad God lead me to Claiborne Christian.

The Beach is like 11 days away. The spill is 40 miles west of the beach we're going to. It's pretty much going to be closed im sure by the time we get there :(. *Prayers that it isn't*. I really want a good family vaca. It's not often that us Griswald's all have vacations at the same time--and I want us to be able to go and have fun. But even if I can't get in the water--the time spent together will be nice..and I have some old beach friends that I'll be meeting up with.

Anwyays I'll leave you some pics of what my summer has been like thus far.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

He Answers Prayers!!

*Deep Breath*

Thank You Jesus! I made it through my Childhood Development Associate observation. My students did really well. I feel like so much pressure has been lifted off of me. Alicia helped me a bunch by helping me hold down our little fort of a classroom. Luckily, no one decided to fist fight so I feel confident. I also did well on the scenario part of my final last night. 19/20 Thank you God!! One written final left and a little work on my CDA binder and I'm home free for the Summer. :) :) :) I won't know how to feel with a paid summer, but I will tell you i'm taking full advantage of it. I'm going to get in touch with me again...write in my journal at home more...spend time with family.. stay up until 3 am watching t.v., swim with my new neighbor (who's been my friend for a long time Jessi!), be in Ana's wedding (wow we've been planning that since 7th grade), do church activicties, volunteer, sleeeeeep in, take Gracie to the park. I can't wait!! The beach is one month and 9 days away. Best Friend + Family= Best Family Time Ever! I'm hoping the beaches won't be black. It's a shame all of the wildlife and beaches that are being ruined by the oil pouring out. I am also keeping those 11 men in my prayers.

My cell phone's messed up--dropping it off to get fixed today. Note to self: Get an otter box for your iphone...bc when it barely drops... it kinda shatters the glass..and it's expensive.... lol I got my laptop back last night, and the resolution is messssed up on it. I tried fixing it, but it's not letting I'm gonna have to figure that one out. Just glad it's not eaten up with viruses anymore. Mr. Doug was very sweet to help me with it, I just hope that we can get the screen kinks out of it. Sooo I'm probably about to drop my laptop back off...and my iphone is going in the shop.. sooo facebook and internet as I know it will be out of the question unless I rip the big ole desktop Betsy out who moves 1mph. That's not even worth the trouble. But It's ok. I think it's God's way of pulling me from the internet. The quiet time spent away from the computer can give me time to focus more on Him. It's probably is the way for God to put me back to a more healthy routine. It is o.k. to enjoy certain things, but not let our lives be centered around them.

I realized how much Gracie made my sister grow up recently. She has become such a mature adult, which Jennifer always was mature.. but her faith has grown so much in the past recent years. I can tell by the manner in which she lives her life and how she speaks His word so much more than her previous years. She never was "bad" or anything, but I think people can just tell when your relationship with God is close. I am proud to have a good role model like her. She's wonderful.

I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to vacation. It's a week where we are all living under the same roof again (like we were when we were younger). And we eat every meal together, laugh, play games, (probably bicker about nothing and get over it LOL), and just build memories for us to cherish. I find that memories are a precious precious gift God gives us. Sometimes, I can still remember the way my grandparents house smelled...or the time Grandma and I talked for hours on her couch while sipping the Welch's grape juice. I find that after someone passes I remember the smallest memories that didn't seem important at the time. But that's just it--EVERY MOMENT of your life is important. We have been given the ability to make others happy. We have been given the ability to change lives. It's our job to make a difference. It's our job to pray for those who need it most. God can hear one prayer and help make an amazing transformations in life. It takes 2 seconds. It's up to us if we choose to do so. I may not be perfect. I know I am not. But I do know one thing. God can make changes in your life that simply change you for the better. There is power and healing behind prayer. Remember if your prayers are not answered it is not in God's plan...because his plan for our lives is perfect.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Searching Years

Originally, I came up with the name the searching years referring to finding the "one" on valentine's day. The holiday came and with it came the lonely emotions. I thanked my sister once again for being my valentine and while wiping tears I said, "Thanks for being there for me during the searching years."

Now, as only a short time as gone by, I have found new meaning in the title "searching years". I am realizing at this point of my life I am searching, but maybe for the wrong things. I do not have to have someone to be "happy". The pursuit of happiness is not merely found in relationships. It is first found in happiness that only the Lord can provide.

I never realized that I could be happy when I feel lonely or even sad. A person can find happiness and peace even while mourning. Matthew 5:4 Happy are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I find comfort in knowing that there can be happiness in our hearts, even on our toughest days. Everyone's searching for "ways to be happy" but the answer is so very have to seek Him.

I'd love to report that I found the one through my prayers, but so far that has not happend. God has His timing and his reasoning for everything. I'm just going to have to suck it up and get some patience. But I've also realized that through prayers I have found insight on other things that I am going to begin searching for in these years of my life. I am searching for how to be a better person in every aspect of my life. I am starting to search for ways to make OTHERS happy. I am searching for ways to please God. I am making plans to finish up my dream of becoming a main teacher, and until then I am enjoying being an assistant teacher to 20 students in our classroom who make me feel like my dreams already coming true. I am searching to surround myself with only those who care about me. These are the people who choose to be true friends--in every meaning. My friends that I can talk about my faith with, the people who I can laugh with, cry with, act stupid with. The friends who knows my flaws and funny quirks and love me for every single one of them. Even if I am a little different than most. The ones who do not talk behind your back, but are willing to be brutally honest when need be. I am searching to put the people out of my life who bring me and my spirit down. I then hope through this searching someone will see the beauty that I have created in myself. Not outer beauty, but inner beauty. I hope they can see the love that I am so willing to share. I hope they can appreciate the journey that I've taken to find myself and to create a person that people would be proud to call a soul mate. Until then, I am searching.....