Friday, July 29, 2011

New Beginnings/Exciting and Nervous

At this time next year I'll be decorating my first classroom as a lead teacher. That is really exciting. However, I am still super excited to decorate JoAnna and my safari room this year! :)

However, you have to walk before you crawl.... I have the following Quarters coming up at Tech to get me there:

Fall- 3 classes or "9" hours which is full time at Tech

Winter- 2 classes or "6" hours

Spring- 3 classes or "9" hours (again full time)

Summer- 2 classes or "6" hours

So 10 Classes stand between me and freedom....oh I am ready....but terrified.

It can be done.. with God's strength and support from my family, Travis, and friends it can be done. I am telling myself this to reassure myself that I have the knowledge and strength to do this.

I'll be working full time and being a full time student. I am not complaining, I do this all by choice. I did it to myself when I quit school in 2008. I hated being an English major though, and when I found out the administration made a "mistake" in my graduation date I couldn't handle it. However, I am SO thankful that I quit. God has a way of changing your path in his way. I felt at the time it was best and it was. Had I not quit, I would have never found CCS. CCS is the school that gave me a job without asking questions. I did not want it, to be honest the thought of working sounded terrible to me. I was unhappy with life in general and I didn't know what I wanted to do. I was in a rut. It was Kitty Head that gave me a chance to work with the after school program. Here I fell in love with children. The four year olds in that class are still etched into my head. I was nothing more than an after school girl, but I made it my goal to be a real teacher to them. I read books, played games, colored, and through this I fell in love. I remember the first day I knew I was emotionally connected is the day a little boy got a toy car thrown at his head. It busted a blood vessel and needless to say it was a bloooody mess. I now know due to further education that teachers are supposed to remain calm to ensure the child. I did not know that then and cried just as hard as him as I walked covered in his blood to Mrs. Kitty's office crying. (Actually, I think I cried harder than him). I went home and realized how much I cared.

Then Brittany suggested that I ask to be a sub. I got called ALL the time. I felt like one of the group even then. I loved it, it was then I decided to apply for the full time teacher's assistant job. I could sense a family and unity with the ladies I subbed with and I knew it was where God wanted me to be. I even enrolled in my CDA classes at Delta before I obtained the position. I now have my CDA and have 96 hours under my belt. That's a lot of tears behind that, lol, when I get stressed I cry. I stared at my transcript tonight. I like browsing over the classes that I have taken, though they are kind of random now since I am general studies to graduate quicker... I like to feel that I am well rounded. 32 classes down (35 if you count my Delta CDA classes), 10 to go. This can be done and will be done. :) I have made all A's so far at Tech while working full time. I know boasting is bad and I do not share my grades for "show off reasons" I post it because I do find that it's ok to be proud of accomplishments that have a lot of work behind it. I have worked super hard to get where I am today. I talk to Laura Pritchard, an old English Ed. major friend of mine, and some of our sophomore classes were probably the hardest and most challenging classes I have ever taken!! LOL I do not know why I wanted to share that, but I am so thankful for the "chipper" memories of ULM. I have fond memories of being a freshmen watching Ana be late for class with her green book bag and having my buddy Scott talk about fishing. I also enjoyed telling my dear friend Mrs. Terri Scott and Laura my HORRIBLE date stories. I do like Tech better though for where I am in life now for curriculum purposes, but my young days at ULM are still precious to me and who I became.

I go to the beach Monday. It's the last big shin dig before school time fun begins. I am excited to see what children God puts in our lives.

Enjoyed the trip. It was nice seeing the Robert's family and we had a nice time in New Orleans.

Travis says that when I look back 10 years from now school will be a blur, but I will be better for it. Lord, I pray so.

Pray for my mother, she keeps having cysts come up? They say it's not cancerous, but I still freak out. They are also seeing signs of osteoperosis (sp?) I detest the aging process. You work hard your whole life, and right when you can slow down just a little bit your body starts giving out. It seems cruel to me, but God has a plan for us all. He uses us for His work and aging it just apart of that process.

I am super thankful to God for Travis. I know that true love is hard to find. When I am with him, I am with my best friend. He does not give himself much credit, but he is AMAZING.

Sunday, July 24, 2011


The past has a way of sneaking up on you in your dreams. I am not sure why they say you "dream" about the future. I dream about the past. I always have that or it's just off the wall dreams. It's funny how one little thought can become a dream that lasts all night. I also dream about insecurities and fears (losing someone I love or failing a test). It's odd. I like my dreams though, they are like little movies. I even have the ability during the summers if I wake up in the middle of a dream that I am enjoying, I can quickly go back to sleep and "add" to my movie. I know it all seems a little deep. My brain is always out there in left field.

I am growing to learn to be my own self. I have lived many years of my life, living to make others happy. I still want to, but for once I want to be happy too. If someone can not accept me for who I am, they honestly do not belong. I hate how cliche' that sounds though. I just want to be happy.

I'm ready to go back to work. I got so used to being active with school and work that I don't know how to do nothing.

I'm so easily sidetracked. This lady on TLC sniffs gasoline every 10 minutes because she likes to smell gas. She says the gasoline makes her feel better. HAHA Gracious, I thought my life was stressful.

Travis and I are still doing well. People keep asking me about our future, we have one...but we are enjoying our time now. Living in the present and enjoying where we are in life NoW is important. My dreams are already true with him.

I miss my family, summer has been very hectic and busy for my family. I love them very much!

I go to the beach Monday, and there may be a New Orleans trip this week in store. :)

God is good--Always