Sunday, June 29, 2014

Anxiously Waiting to Praying for Another Day

I really do not have much to say. I feel anxious lately. There are so many things that I am waiting on... counting down the days until we close on our new home. Counting down the day until I finish my last class at Tech (November). Counting down the days until I walk across the stage to graduate in May. Counting down the days to start a family. Yet, I am fully aware that I am counting my life away and one day I will beg God for just one more moment with my parents, one more moment with my own children, one more moment. Funny how we anxiously wait for time to pass and then beg God to slow it down at the same time. I hope that after this chapter is over, I can learn to live for the now. I am very excited about being in Monroe. I have enjoyed having the opportunity to live other places, but as the old saying goes... "There is no place like home". I've been blessed with several homes with my husband, at my parents, at Trav's parents, at the Smith/Woodall home. Yet, now that we are moving to Monroe, I can be connected with so many I love, and get to return to the house Trav and I share. :) I'm thankful God is making things fall together. I also have a peace about leaving this home to a very good family. I like to think these walls here in Hodge will host a multitude of happy memories, just the way our new home will for us. It's a family of four (with the fourth being a child on the way). I smile thinking of the life that will be breathed into good ole 2005 Cypress. They are gracious people, even willing to let us live here until our house closes. Moving is rough. Emotionally it is grueling. I run across the most dear things to my heart that I have tucked away and hidden from finding. The memory boxes that grow dust, but beg to opened as you come across them. I sat in the floor crying like a baby while holding my grandfather's obituary the other night. It's funny how easily I have suppressed my grandparents absence, but one piece of paper can make me lose it. My husband was comforting though, and I am thankful he just lets me be an emotional woman. Then there was the old picture boxes of mine and Trav's that are so hard to face. It holds our past and I refuse to let either of us trash the old pictures that shaped us to who we are, but man oh man those things are getting put in the attic. I do not like knowing Travis ever dated anyone else, but dear old me! So we put a little duct tape on those memory books. :) My sister is expecting. Bailey Grace Smith will be the perfect addition. Every girl needs a sister, so glad Gracie will have one that lives with her and shares her deepest darkest secrets and tags along. I feel I'll relate to little Bailey, since I was the younger sibling. HAHA I know Jennifer will teach sweet Gracie all of the ropes of being a big over protective sister. In all honesty though, that baby girl will be our blessing and her personality will flow right along with the rest of my family. I wonder if she will be outgoing like Gracie, or shy? I just know she will be the perfect addition to the family, just wish Jen would let me play a little John Mayer for her while in the ole womb. haha School keeps me busy, I swear chapter guides takes me hours on top of hours. I know it's worth it though, I feel like Tech truly has shaped me to be a better teacher. I also believe that I'll never stop improving and that education lasts a lifetime. I am looking forward to meeting my new class. So far I have met three of my twenty, and I am pleased to say all three of those little pupils are just darling. All very nice parents as well, I am praying that all 17 others seem so eager to play and learn with me. I am also praying for patience and happiness throughout the school year. I want to be one of those teachers that children look back on fondly and I want my students to come out super smart and ahead of the game. Anyways, I guess I should get some sleep. Class tomorrow shall come soon enough. LoVe, Christina

Sunday, June 1, 2014

2005 East Cypress

Late summer nights. There is nothing like sitting all alone with one's thoughts and feelings. The wee hours of the night have always belonged to me in the months of late May, June, July, and early August. I'm sitting in our living room that will soon encompass a new family soon and these walls will breathe new life. I'm happy for them, but for now these walls belong to us for just a while longer. :) The memories...those will always be ours. It's amazing I haven't been in Hodge long, but it so quickly became home. I've never thought about it, but our first and only break up and our engagement all occurs about the exact same place in the living room. The tears of sadness and joy have found their way down our cheeks in this home. The steps outside on the porch was where we sat the night we split our (at the time) 3 month relationship. He'll swear he didn't, but he cried right along with me. That porch swing is where I sat to call my mother to share I was engaged. I had never been more excited and felt more complete in my life. My eyes are now flooding as Gracie would say. This neighborhood so quickly became home to a girl who had never left Monroe. I had some really great runs and always enjoyed Jamie's company and talking to the Tidwell's. I also enjoyed visiting with Mr. Louie, God bless his soul. His yard was always winning that great yard award from the town of Hodge. We never stood a chance. I recall many days doing homework with architecture homework spread out on the floor and late night papers to get me through undergrad. Heaven knows grad school has made me cry between these walls. The moments after coming home from our wedding where my husband reassured me while standing in my wedding dress that I was so beautiful, and even the southern classic we went and got because apparently no one warned us that you starve at your own wedding. The countless Saturday mornings laughing and talking together in bed and the McDonald runs. The calling Johnny's pizza to talk to "Tyla" who is beyond the nicest pizza guy ever. "Yo yo this is Tyla". The night the power went out (ok let's be honest it goes out a lot)... But there was that one time with Jennifer where the windows stayed lit up. That and watching Gracie and attacks play with the soccer ball he rolled off the tin roof over and over again. That yard... First one I ever mowed on my own. Also where Travis and I played in the rain and where I forced him to kiss me because I just had to say I had been kissed in the rain. Point is that I'll never be able to recall all of my memories of this house, I never realized how the simple days held so much importance. I'm so thankful to God for our time here. This post won't make much sense to anyone, but Trav and I will one day be thankful I took the time to write about how special our first home together was. Now on to new adventures, hopefully the next home we own will have babies :). --cypress street