Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Searching for Balance

I have been trying to find my balance. I am not much of a person to whine, ok maybe I am, but I have really had to get used to being back in school. I work 40 hours a week (with kids that I adore), have to be a good daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend, church member, and employee. Oh and I forgot a good student, how could I forget my scholarly duties? However, when I state that I am finding my balance, I am doing it psychologically. I am telling myself that everything that I am doing will pay off in the end. I know that teaching children is in my heart, and it's the smiling faces that I see daily that pushes me to do homework from 3-Midnight.

I am also having trouble finding balance with friends. I never like the feeling of choosing or even questioning who is more important. I love all of my friends and i hope that I convey that. I feel like I am leaving so many people out here lately, and I hate that. I just feel like school has been my primary focus. I keep telling myself that it's worth it.

I do love Tech (online). However the campus stresses me out, I lost my car the other day during advising. I'm so used to being a ULMer that I felt like such a freshman (even though I am a senior) walking around. I couldn't find my car in cold misting rain (in may?!) for at least 15 minutes. It was pathetic. My hair feathers got wet! (PAHAHA) Another thing that makes me happy in an odd way is realizing my friends (yes you stephanie) are just as emotional as I am when they get stressed. I had my crying day yesterday and poor Travis got to hear me have a wahhhh woah is me melt down. I am feeling better though!

I do need tooth picks to keep my eyes open. School did change me, it took away my every other daily naps!

As far as my love life is going, for once I am not searching any longer. My prince charming has arrived with his big brown eyes and super fly dance moves. I did not rename my blog though, for I realize that the searching years are still evident in my life. I am now searching for balance. Pray for me to find some. Oh, and for sleep. Teen teen is not making it off of 5 hours a night. I need 13. HAHA!