L-O-V-E

I used to dream of this...What it would be like--Falling in love. Though in my adolescence, I claimed to know it. I didn't. I had no clue what it was like to love someone as much as I do Travis. I never knew what it was like for my soul to really feel complete. I can understand how Eve is made of Adam, because I feel like I was never whole before I met him. As I sit and ponder at 3:30 am about my life, I remember what my life was like before him. I think to my apartment and the lonely nights crying and praying. I prayed for Travis nightly, but I had no clue who he'd be. I did not know it the second I met him, nor will I claim it. However, as each second ticked by in the moments I spent with him, it became more clear. He was the answer to my prayers.

I thank God for sending me someone that can help define happiness and help show me what this world really has to offer. I now understand how much love my parents had for one another. Love--it changes a person--honestly--not in just a beautiful quote sense. It has changed me. It has made me more mature, more confident in myself, happier, kinder, and better in the best of senses. He is my miracle. Though we don't have these sappy romantic conversations daily, we are both good at reassuring one another every day that we love each other, not only in words, but by actions. In the action of staying around me while I cry over tests with my hair pulled up like a nest. He reassures me of my intelligence and gives me a courage I never knew I had. He does it so naturally, I barely think he notices. He is just him. He makes me laugh, oh how he makes me laugh. I am sure in that sense we are soul-mates, we get each others odd sense of humor.

All of this wonderfulness fills me with fear. I have something for the first time in my life that would almost be unbearable to lose. I love him so much that it scares me, to the point I'd literately not know what I'd do if I lost him. That sounds morbid, I know, but I do not intend it to be. To me it is something beautiful, for once I have something so precious to treasure and worry about.

The first date-- I can still see his black truck pulling up as I stood by the paint-chipped apartment railings watching for him. I remember not knowing what to say, as I awkwardly stared out the window. We did not even talk until we were passing the ULM tennis courts, and that was just to state how much easier it was to talk on the phone. It was the best evening of my life up to that point, and I didn't even know it yet. The bond that would form after that day was incredible. I love him, I love his family, I love the little things that make him Travis.

People discuss finding the perfect man, but let me make this clear. There is no perfect man, but the perfect man for you. One that brings you closer to God by showing you the love God has placed in us. The man who has flaws that are seemingly invisible to you. When you find that love, you'll know, I never knew how "you'd know someone is the one", but you do. Compared to my other relationships, I consider him my first real relationship. How did I get so blessed??