Butterflies.

Our lives are composed of BIG moments that together create our life story. These moments, depending on how they go (good or bad) all happen for a reason. They leave butterflies in your stomach--like a first date. Which means GREAT things can come from them or great let-downs. I am prepared to accept either at my new little chapter of life because this past couple of months have taught me that let-downs are going to happen. Let downs do not define me though, nor do people's opinions. I know that I am a positive and hard working person. I know that I am intelligent and kind, and I know I will prevail in the end. I love and dislike butterfly moments at the same time. The anxious feelings balance with exciting feelings and my body is super confused on whether to be scared or happy. I think I'll choose happy though, because God has a plan. I just have a feeling my whole life is about to change, and I am accepting the change, but ready for my life to be in a routine again. :) Summer is going well. My wedding bouquets are about to be shipped. They are all hand sewn from old ivory and lace and I am super pleased with them. I find them worth the hard earned money. I also have some windows my in law cousin gave me to use for the wedding. I have some fun crafts in mind for it! My best friend moved to Florida, she always said she would. I am proud to see her independently chase her dreams. I miss her, but honestly I think that Florida holds so much potential for growth and adventures that her heart desires. Good for you, Megan. I can't wait to come see you! She had her big, butterflies moment this week. It's time for mine now. Our new chapter of friendship--we're going long distance! LOL. I am making an effort to get into shape this summer, and to get in touch with some of my older friends (and stay in touch with my newer ones). I have had some fun conversations thenceforth. I am also venturing to new churches closer to home. My heart will always be with Lea Joyner, but almost in Sterlington is a bit too far for my location. It's been fun going to check out different denominations and get a feel for what is best for Travis and I. I went to his parents Apostolic Church a few weeks back and loved it. I have also enjoyed visiting some churches around here. It's so hard to decide, especially when everyone is so kind. Church is important to me and I want to pick a place where I can raise a family. <3 Sleep for me...

Feather

I completed my last final with a 100, I would consider that a good way to go out sparkling like a firecracker. I feel super excited about graduation, but oddly sleepy. Things have been a little overwhelming lately with the changes in my life...graduation, job, wedding, best friend moving. I feel like my solid planted life is now "feather like". I just hope I land somewhere I am happy and not get stuck in a rough position. Actually, I know and THANK God ahead of time for leading me in a wonderful direction. I am waiting to hear about a position that I have wanted now for 3 years. I am prayerfully hoping I get it, but keeping my options open in case God has another plan. I have worked very hard to get there and it would almost be disappointing to not get it now, but again I am trying to stay positive because this waiting game could last up until July. Anyways, no long post, just wanted to commemorate the last day of my undergrad studies. I think graduation will make it feel a little more real.

Tech Email:

Christina,

I just wanted you to know that I enjoy reading your papers, online postings and comments. Keep up the good work.

Best,

Dr. Asiedu

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I received this email from one of my professors. I LOVE TECH. I love supportive professors. I am not writing this to be boastful, but proud of my hard work. I want to look back and remember that I was capable of applying myself and making a name for myself amongst my classes. I feel like being online it is hard to "shine" because I can not discuss things out loud in class. So it felt AMazIng to get this email. I like the thought that my work is strong enough to be enjoyable from a person with a doctrine. I know it's simple, but it gave me the extra push to get through these last few weeks! Thank you, Lord.

Best, ;)

Christina

Grown up people world

They make growing up sound so much fun... well I guess I do not know who they is. I just always assumed it would be super fun and exciting. Exciting it is, fun... sometimes... but I never knew about the tough times.

The tough times are having to say goodbye to people you love and letting them go.
It happens a lot in grown up people world:
-Deaths
-Break-Ups
-Moving Away

I have had my share of parting with loved ones and break-ups and hopefully for a while those moments have passed and I have come to terms with the grievances that went along with them. However, now I am faced with my best friend moving away.

She warned me. She always has, since we were 14. She is the adventurous and bold one out of the two of us, and I am the homebody who has dreams far closer to my roots. I actually think my dreams are intertwined with where I grew up. Her dream is beautiful and I consider mine to be also. I just wish they were the same places.

Megan, I am THRILLED for you. I know that this move for you is as big as me getting married. We are finally doing the things we laid on a trampoline and talked about as children. You are getting your dream, and I am super super happy for you. Yet, I would be lying to say that my heart does not beat a little bit faster when I think of you moving away. I know that distance can not affect our bond or take away any memories, but I know that it will change our relationship. Our new hang-outs will be on skype and not getting cussed by crazy craze people in Ruston's theater during a scary movie...or sitting on my porch swing...or camping out at Jennifer's. There will be trips though! Lots of trips...and maybe we can do oldschool letters from time to time. I'm just scared. I want you to chase your dreams, but I want you to keep our friendship close to your heart and we both have to not allow life and distance to change that. The Lord says lots of special things about friends, and I know you are the definition of one. Oh gosh, I am crying. What a baby am I?

Now, onto the next line of business. I have 1 month and 1 week of class left until I have completed all of my work for my undergrad. Then I will graduate. I can not believe I finally made it. I have said this all year, but it seems unreal. All of my dreams coming true. I am marrying the man I adore and love and graduating. Oh, God... You are so good to me! I can not wait to teach and to impact little lives and teach them the Word of God~~!!

I have a prayer request for a dear friend who's grandchild was born with illness. She prefers to keep it personal, but please please pray for the child and family.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter. I always love this time of the year because I am reminded of the Lord's sacrifice and love for us and filled with the Spirit. I need to strive to have this joy all year round.

Just so you know, I love you.

Those words showed up as a text at 10:01 p.m. Just when I think we're comfortable and the romance will slack off because often times relationships do that when life gets busy, he throws me a curve ball. He always tells me I love you, but the out of no-where just -so- you- know- text made my heart flutter as much as it did on our first date.

I loved our first date. I tried so hard to be pretty. I usually had a habit of acting a nervous fool on first dates, but not with him. I was myself. I laughed like myself and I enjoyed myself. I wish I could replay those moments in time to hear what we talked about. Basically, two strangers who had talked on the phone for a long time. I guess we were not strangers in that aspect.

Life is changing again, though Spring is a time for renewal in life, yet I am convinced it is a time for change. I found out that a friend who I've grown up with (in my 20's at least) is moving. I found that out today, and my heart felt sad. I know what moving is, it can not take friendship away, but it changes it just the same. She will ever be a part of my chapter of life no matter where the roads lead us.though. I pray for happy journeys for her and the man of her dreams though. Changes make me terribly sad, hard to describe oddly....even the good changes make me sad. I take a while to adjust. My whole life seems surreal here lately. When did my dreams that I have worked for and soul-searched for all start coming true??! Seriously, EVERYTHING that I have EVER prayed for is coming true. God had His timing for my life. I am so ever thankful for that. Again, His timing is better than anything I could have dreamed up.

I could still use prayers to guide me into this next step. I am searching for some stability. :) I have it in Travis, but the rest of my life seems to be going at 100 mph! :)

Love--Christina Gordon

Love you for a thousand years

I almost feel like I had forgotten how to relax. This weekend I rediscovered the luxury of it though, and I am super thrilled about it. I have a movie on pause right now, "One Day". I plan on finishing it in a few minutes. I rearranged the living room for the hot season (couch blocks air conditioner unit in the winter.)

I have dove into the wedding planning this week. I question if I want to wear a long veil or a short one. The more I think about it the more a long veil calls my name. I don't know! It's so difficult deciding how I will remember the most important day of my life and what I want myself to look like.... At least I know I will like how my groom and my dress will look. I am thinking about booking our honeymoon cruise tomorrow. <3 The downfall is Thanksgiving will be spent on the open seas away from family. However, we can go all out for Christmas!!! Hopefully Carnival will have Turkey or Ham and some sort of dressing. If not I will like 007 some of my mom's. ;)

I only have 53 days of school work left and 57 days until I walk. I counted these all by hand. I like that I can count the numbers of days until I graduate. I tear up at the thought of finishing something that I started so long ago. School has been a journey for me and I have grown up with it. When I quit in 2008, it felt WRONG afterwards. I thought I would feel relief, but I really felt pain and confusion. I realize now God just wanted to steer my path of education a different way. Because of quitting school, I wound up at CCS where I found my love for kids. Oh, I am sure I have blogged this same story. Sorry. I just get overwhelmed thinking about how God shaped my path in life. I feel like all of the worst things in my life, were all the best things...the turn in my road that lead me to a better destination than I ever could have chosen for myself. Thank you, God. Thank you for driving my car and allowing me to be the passenger. Thank you for merging my road with Trav's and having scenic routes that say "College Graduate" "Teacher" "Happiness" on the side. Lord, I can never never never never thank you for leading me to these things that will allow me to make a difference in the world.

I've been thinking a lot about having children. I have never felt ready until now. I feel like Travis and I will be great parents and our house will be filled with love. We want to wait until we've been married about a year to start trying, but I'm sure God will make it happen whenever it was meant to happen. He has a way of changing my planned route in life for the better. I smile thinking about what it will be like to have a mini version of Travis and I put together. I ponder what he/she will look like and how they will light up our world.

However, first comes the marriage! I imagine the day of will go by so quickly, but I know I remember it for a lifetime. Someone chose ME to spend the rest of their life with. Travis LOVES ME and knows EVERYTHING about me (the good and the bad). How blessed am I that he still chooses me knowing all that ;). He is an amazing man and I know I am meant to be his wife. It feels right when we are around each other. It always has. I feel like I am with a family member or closest friend (like Meg) when he's around...but better because there is romance too!

Anyways, I am about to curl up and watch this movie. Enough blabbling for me.

Waiting to Exhale

I found the title of the album that I am listening to appropriate... First of all, it's me digging through my childhood memories after the loss of Whitney Houston Saturday. Jennifer's first CD was the "Waiting to Exhale Soundtrack". So I still love all of the songs of Whitney's on there. I do not support her drug usage, but I do support the talent of her musical gift. I also support how music can bring you back to a certain time of your life. I can remember using our brand new cd player in our room to jam out. Every time a guy broke our hearts Jen and I would jam out to her music. I also chose the title, "Waiting to Exhale" because I feel like I am holding my breath to make it through school. I am just waiting to exhale and breathe regularly. I am ready to have a life. 97 days until I walk across the stage! I need to work on my invitations!! Megan took a pretty sweet picture I can use. I may do that to de-stress myself!

<3 On other news, Valentine's is coming up. I honestly think it's more of a day to remind single people they are single and I hate that there is a day that makes people feel lonely. I spent lots of Valentine's crying or feeling lonely, but remember this my friends the Lord has a plan. I like how JoAnna put it the other day, Valentine's day can be a day to express your love to EVERYONE you love, not just a significant other. I have no clue what I am getting Travis, I've got his card, but I like to get him something every year he can use (no guy wants a stuffed animal at 32). I am thankful for the love of God, Travis, my family, and my best friends. I sure am blessed.

I've done math all weekend. I've got my grade up to a 86%. I think I can handle that, because it's not looking any better! lol I never thought I'd say, "This B will have to do!" LOL, but with Math I can!! I have pushed my brain to limits I NEVER knew it could reach.

I found out I am teaching next year, super excited about that. I have learned from so many great teachers. I look forward to it. I will do lots of precious moments things in my room, I think?? I'm not sure yet.

Anyways sleep for me. Psychology test tomorrow followed by a little more math!

"When you have friends to wish you well, you'll find a point when you will exhale."--Whitney Houston