Early afternoon ramblings

I’m currently holding John who I rocked to sleep. We leave for the beach Saturday and there are 990 things I could be doing, yet I hold him. Some days I hustle and bustle to get ready and have the house clean. Today, the few dishes canwait and my workout pants with a oatmeal stained T-shirt will do. Sometimes I think of what I’d be doing at work right now. My kids would be at recess or if it’s rainy likrctifay watching learning videos as we prepped for nap time. In some ways I desperately miss working and in other ways I know if I was working I’d desperately miss holding my boy as he slept. As a mother they’ll always be convictions, if you work you question if you can stretch your time appropriately to be a great mother. As a stay st home mom, you struggle if you contribute enough to your family. You feel like a financial burden even when you want to buy a cup of coffee. Note, Travis always makes me feel valued and has never forbid me from buying anything. We also can easily afford for me to buy coffee ☕️. I could also easily afford a fancy breakfast somewhere, I just struggle at this point spending money I didn’t earn. I suppose that’ll get better. For now, the reward is John. My joy comes from him and not materialistic things. Well, besides Target clothes for John... lol and that’s for John.

I’ve been trying hard to work on friendships and ask my closest friends how they are. I can do so much better in so many aspects. But I’m trying. I think I’ll start blogging my actual days after this. Maybe it’ll make someone relate to me or maybe it’ll bore their eyeballs off their faces. But whatever, maybe I’ll just document life. Lots of love. -C*Tina