He Answers Prayers!!

*Deep Breath*

Thank You Jesus! I made it through my Childhood Development Associate observation. My students did really well. I feel like so much pressure has been lifted off of me. Alicia helped me a bunch by helping me hold down our little fort of a classroom. Luckily, no one decided to fist fight so I feel confident. I also did well on the scenario part of my final last night. 19/20 Thank you God!! One written final left and a little work on my CDA binder and I'm home free for the Summer. :) :) :) I won't know how to feel with a paid summer, but I will tell you i'm taking full advantage of it. I'm going to get in touch with me again...write in my journal at home more...spend time with family.. stay up until 3 am watching t.v., swim with my new neighbor (who's been my friend for a long time Jessi!), be in Ana's wedding (wow we've been planning that since 7th grade), do church activicties, volunteer, sleeeeeep in, take Gracie to the park. I can't wait!! The beach is one month and 9 days away. Best Friend + Family= Best Family Time Ever! I'm hoping the beaches won't be black. It's a shame all of the wildlife and beaches that are being ruined by the oil pouring out. I am also keeping those 11 men in my prayers.

My cell phone's messed up--dropping it off to get fixed today. Note to self: Get an otter box for your iphone...bc when it barely drops... it kinda shatters the glass..and it's expensive.... lol I got my laptop back last night, and the resolution is messssed up on it. I tried fixing it, but it's not letting me...so I'm gonna have to figure that one out. Just glad it's not eaten up with viruses anymore. Mr. Doug was very sweet to help me with it, I just hope that we can get the screen kinks out of it. Sooo I'm probably about to drop my laptop back off...and my iphone is going in the shop.. sooo facebook and internet as I know it will be out of the question unless I rip the big ole desktop Betsy out who moves 1mph. That's not even worth the trouble. But It's ok. I think it's God's way of pulling me from the internet. The quiet time spent away from the computer can give me time to focus more on Him. It's probably is the way for God to put me back to a more healthy routine. It is o.k. to enjoy certain things, but not let our lives be centered around them.

I realized how much Gracie made my sister grow up recently. She has become such a mature adult, which Jennifer always was mature.. but her faith has grown so much in the past recent years. I can tell by the manner in which she lives her life and how she speaks His word so much more than her previous years. She never was "bad" or anything, but I think people can just tell when your relationship with God is close. I am proud to have a good role model like her. She's wonderful.

I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to vacation. It's a week where we are all living under the same roof again (like we were when we were younger). And we eat every meal together, laugh, play games, (probably bicker about nothing and get over it LOL), and just build memories for us to cherish. I find that memories are a precious precious gift God gives us. Sometimes, I can still remember the way my grandparents house smelled...or the time Grandma and I talked for hours on her couch while sipping the Welch's grape juice. I find that after someone passes I remember the smallest memories that didn't seem important at the time. But that's just it--EVERY MOMENT of your life is important. We have been given the ability to make others happy. We have been given the ability to change lives. It's our job to make a difference. It's our job to pray for those who need it most. God can hear one prayer and help make an amazing transformations in life. It takes 2 seconds. It's up to us if we choose to do so. I may not be perfect. I know I am not. But I do know one thing. God can make changes in your life that simply change you for the better. There is power and healing behind prayer. Remember if your prayers are not answered it is not in God's plan...because his plan for our lives is perfect.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

The Searching Years

Originally, I came up with the name the searching years referring to finding the "one" on valentine's day. The holiday came and with it came the lonely emotions. I thanked my sister once again for being my valentine and while wiping tears I said, "Thanks for being there for me during the searching years."

Now, as only a short time as gone by, I have found new meaning in the title "searching years". I am realizing at this point of my life I am searching, but maybe for the wrong things. I do not have to have someone to be "happy". The pursuit of happiness is not merely found in relationships. It is first found in happiness that only the Lord can provide.

I never realized that I could be happy when I feel lonely or even sad. A person can find happiness and peace even while mourning. Matthew 5:4 Happy are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I find comfort in knowing that there can be happiness in our hearts, even on our toughest days. Everyone's searching for "ways to be happy" but the answer is so very clear...you have to seek Him.

I'd love to report that I found the one through my prayers, but so far that has not happend. God has His timing and his reasoning for everything. I'm just going to have to suck it up and get some patience. But I've also realized that through prayers I have found insight on other things that I am going to begin searching for in these years of my life. I am searching for how to be a better person in every aspect of my life. I am starting to search for ways to make OTHERS happy. I am searching for ways to please God. I am making plans to finish up my dream of becoming a main teacher, and until then I am enjoying being an assistant teacher to 20 students in our classroom who make me feel like my dreams already coming true. I am searching to surround myself with only those who care about me. These are the people who choose to be true friends--in every meaning. My friends that I can talk about my faith with, the people who I can laugh with, cry with, act stupid with. The friends who knows my flaws and funny quirks and love me for every single one of them. Even if I am a little different than most. The ones who do not talk behind your back, but are willing to be brutally honest when need be. I am searching to put the people out of my life who bring me and my spirit down. I then hope through this searching someone will see the beauty that I have created in myself. Not outer beauty, but inner beauty. I hope they can see the love that I am so willing to share. I hope they can appreciate the journey that I've taken to find myself and to create a person that people would be proud to call a soul mate. Until then, I am searching.....